Bloom in the Dark

Published June 13, 2019

When you are in a dark place you sometimes tend to think you’ve been buried, but perhaps you’ve been planted to bloom.

Certain events in our lives cause tremendous sadness or anguish. Losing a loved one, a marriage ending or an unfortunate accident may catapult us into a very dark place.  Socializing, tending to physical appearance, fitness, sleeping and eating all become very low priorities.  Being in a dark place mentally or emotionally makes us want to hide – including from ourselves.

Don’t hide or avoid

Hiding and avoiding doesn’t help us. While being in an emotionally dark place may feel like a coping strategy, it isn’t. It simply postpones and potentially exacerbates negative emotions in the future.  Ignoring emotions, people and life doesn’t truly serve us.   We actually have to face our circumstances and deal with our emotions. Yet, it can be easy to get stuck in the dark place for weeks, months or (gasp) years.  When that happens, people may wallow in and replay the event that caused the pain rather than feel the pain, loss or emotion (sadness, anger, grief, etc.).

Feeling is healing

Feeling the emotion(s) is part of the healing process. Talking to a mental health professional, reading relevant books on grief or joining a support group are great ways to deal with your emotions and get past the dark place.  Tending to emotions rather than completely avoiding them improves your well-being and increases your capacity to reframe the event, shift your mindset and discover ways you can grow and bloom. 

If you are looking for additional support and ways to bloom, buy Divorce Wisdom. Available on this site or at Amazon.